Ho Ho Hoe!

Its been six days since Santacon in San Francisco and I am no less a Ms Claus today than that time.

Eggnog?

County Hospital

Our county continues to astonish me. Yay! This could be because it is now 2:28 am and I have been at County USC hospital since 10:30 am, when I joined Monk whom I had dropped off at ER around 7am. Yup I have been sittin in this waiting room for 16 hours. You see, Monk visited a Hollywood Clinic last night for a EKG in order to have his heart assessed for his meds. Upon the print out the nurse says ‘Oh, you have to go to emergency, you have a abnormal heart’. If the thought of someone telling you that you have an irregular heart rate doesn’t scare the hell out of you, imagine they tell you this and you live in one of the most populated cities on the planet and you don’t have health care; behold…County Hospital.

I think about how great it is that we even have access to a county hospital as so many people living on this planet have no hospital access whatsoever, so before I begin my bitch session don’t think I haven’t thought about that. However, this is America right?, the ‘world power’ the industrialized nation and Los Angeles is one of the richest places on the planet, so come on is health care too much to ask for. Yes, yes it is.

Maybe you have heard the horror stories about County USC hospital or ‘County’ as it’s called. From the outside the almost century old building stands proud with plush gardens and a newly built wing for psychiatric and ER patients. However, once inside the grim truth greets you as people lay bellowing in pain sitting in chairs stacked high to the ceiling. Monk sat in the emergency from 7am until 10:33 pm when they finally called him, almost 16 hours. Now its almost 3am and I, having just asked if he will be admitted, has been informed the doctor hasn’t seen him yet, so the nurse can neither confirm nor deny his admittance. I have had four large cups of coffee, downloaded tetris on my phone for $6.95, played free slots on my laptop, read Scientologist literature, smoked a pack of cigarettes while reading free literature on how to quit, and fed several outdoor pigeons.

I also watched a lady, escorted by her husband, throw up blood all over the entrance to ER. No one cleaned it up and if you go out to the walk way you can still see it. She was issued a gurney at the door on which she laid in the corner of the ER waiting room for 45 minutes throwing up blood until someone took her into the back. There was a man sitting next to Monk and I who was throwing up lime green vomit, he too was hunched over in pain. He was admitted 7 hours after arriving. GREEN VOMIT! At 10:45pm a man came in who had been shot in the upper arm. He had a towel over the wound. It took him 45 minutes to be admitted.

As I sit here in this shiny new waiting room there hangs a banner over my head, ‘Surrounding you with innovation: New Hospital, New Technology, New Network. A Tradition of Excellence’. I am sitting here fantasizing about the banner falling from the cathedral style ceiling on to someone’s head in the waiting room only to see how long it will take for this ‘tradition of excellence’ to begin. The truth is our health care system, or lack there of, is no laughing manner. There are families surrounding me with parents hugging their little ones in blankets, signing songs in Spanish to them as they rock back and forth with worried expressions on their faces. There are husbands who lay in the laps of their wives who look helpless and frightened like the little boys they once were. All eyes face the door. It sort of reminds me of playing Keno. Everyone here is focused, waiting for their number to be called. However there is no numerical pattern. Because no one here has health insurance everyone is seen by how critical their injuries are. Therefore you have about seventy people who have been waiting most of the day and night for things like the flu, cold, or cough. When the emergency door opens we all hold our breath as we pray the next person who joins us won’t be worse off. If the next one in the boat is a heart attack, stroke, or poison victim that pushes everyone back an hour, at least.

Here you also see people for who they are. Several people speak under their breath about all the Latinos getting medical attention who are here without documentation while those hard working Americans struggle. I was outside smoking when a white man from Kern County said this to me as we smoked. I said, actually we don’t give undocumented immigrants Medi-Cal, however he didn’t believe me. Then there are the negative views of the homeless. A sigh from the older gentleman next to me when a homeless man entered the room, usually escorted by the paramedic that brought them in, lets me know it’s just another undeserving person seeking services. There are several mentally ill homeless people here. They talk to themselves, are extremely unkept, and odorous- much the way a homeless person who sleeps on the streets would be. This place is a monster. When the big one hits please make sure you have your health insurance card on you and if you happen to get injured during the quake and you don’t have insurance I wish you a quick and painless death for this place will.

Monk and I finally head for home at 5:45am with a big yellow moon hanging on the horizon. We talk about all those who are still waiting. I do not doubt that the people who work there are doing the best they can, but how good is that when there are too many people in need of services and not enough service to offer them.

Helpless

I don't know if anyone out there in internet space even reads my posts and I often wonder why I just don't get out my journal and write instead but I find some solace in this blog.

It's 8:00 am, no alarm sounded this morning and it was a great opportunity to sleep in however I just woke up, laid there, and stared at the ceiling. So I made coffee, read the paper, looked out the window, and lit a smoke. This week work has been hell, no not the type of hell you get placed in for some random sin you committed over your lifetime by a loveless and thankless god, but the real kind of hell you find yourself staring at when you feel the absence of hope.

Here is the breakdown of my week at work:
-51/50'd a man who has been making such great progress however he relapsed and came up with a plan that he was going to start random fights with strangers until he found one that would kick his ass to the point of death. When I asked if he was suicidal he said "yes, I'm a freak, wouldn't you want to be dead if you were me?' So he was held in the hospital for one day and I went to pick up when he was released, he appeared fine. The same night he relapsed again and tore apart his room at his board and care. He has sense been MIA however will call me on my cell from pay phones to tell me it's only a matter of time now till he dies and to take care of myself. Helpless.
-Talked another man into going to the hospital because I believe he has gangrene in his foot. His ankle is the size of a grapefruit and it is entirely black, he can no longer walk on it. His reason for not going to the hospital, 'I dont care, let it fall off, my life is shitty anyway, maybe people will be nicer to me if I only have one leg.' I just stared at him. His plan after we left a hospital that essentially just gave him a cane and told him if he didn't go to County hospital he would loose his leg soon, he lacks Medi-Cal, is to wait until his leg starts to smell (decompose) then he'll find someone to cut it off. Helpless.
-Worked with another women who has two black eyes and only comes in to see me after her boyfriend has kicked the shit out of her, she tells me its over when she visits, she understands why she has to leave, and how next time she may die. As I am leaving work on friday I see them walking across an intersection together holding hands. Helpless.
-Placed a man in rehab after he assured me he was ready to quit and he was actually making great progress. He called me from the rehab on thursday to let me know there were more drugs in the program than skid row. He said 'Its great this place is like a hotel and because there are so many visitors to the people in the program they bring drugs, and its cheaper then buying drugs on the streets, but dont worry, I am still trying to quit and I just want to be honest with you.' Helpless.
-Visited a women who is in her sixties at her hotel room that has no bathroom, only shared bathroom down the hall, and she informed me cheerfully she had made a makeshift toilet in her room because there was a man who was threatening her for money so she didn't even feel safe enough to use the bathroom in the hotel. She literally will sit in a chair and take a shit into a plastic bag then when she feels safe will throw it out, sometimes the bags pile up in her room and she puts them under her bed. Helpless.

I feel so helpless, I stand aside my peeps as they take one step forward and eight steps backward. I closed three cases of peeps who went to jail so they were dis-enrolled, after we made progress, only to inherit three more people that put me back at step one: outreach, engage, and try to help.

I feel like I am putting a bandaid on a on a car crash victim and telling them it will be ok, when in the back of my head I know the person is going to die. From where I stand it seems so logical, yet from where these people stand there is no logic. I think about them when I lay down to go to bed at night, the first thing when I wake up, and throughout my day.

I have to find something to do today, my day off, to actually make it a day off.

Flamenco Vs. Flamingo

Sometimes the earth stops... and when it starts again you don't even know your name. Especially after 4 pitchers of Sangria.



On Saturday the proud and classy alumni of Cal State LA got together at EL Cid to have dinner and watch Flamenco dancers twirl and stomp. Que beautiful it was. It was a fine mesh of people their for dinner and lots of protestors that came in off the the streets looking for a cool refreshment after yelling themselves horse at the passing of Prop 8. Once the show was over we packed up the crew and headed to Smog Cutters for a bit of drunken karaoke. Good times. I made many wonderful friends at school, the closest of them were there that evening and it was nice to be among them again. It was also a sobering realization that we are all professionals now as the bill arrived at $677.77 and we were all able to pay for it. I don't ever spend that kind of money on anything, however this experience was one to remember.

Happy Birthday Ms. Lisa.

Victory & Defeat

Can I get an Amen!
However, with the election victory came the passage of Prop. 8, denying gays the right to marry. My sister's best friend, Greg, wrote this as he sat in wait to gain access to an act so many 'straight' people take advantage of. What he wrote was honest and tearful yet so touching that I wanted as many people to read it as possible.

"Last night, the chickens won. In my home state of California, voters elected to give certain rights to farm animals, while at the same time they chose to eliminate my right to marry the person I love. Having been disappointed by my fellow Americans in the past over similar issues and knowing that the passage of Proposition 8 would dampen whatever elation I felt over the victory of Barack Obama, I chose to decline all invitations to election "parties" and instead headed to a local coffeehouse to do some work. Of course, the election was unavoidable there too as crowds gathered around the big screen television, cheering and booing as individual state results began to pour in. But again, I was able to be alone, by myself in my little corner, pretending to do "work" while secretly fretting over the California results that were still hours away.
And so it is a change in the wind with a new hope for a better direction for our country.

At 8pm, it became official. Barack Obama was our nation's first African-American President-Elect. The coffeehouse erupted in applause. Cars honked on the street, whistles pierced the air and I found myself inexplicably on my feet with chills running down my spine. I suddenly was hugging a stranger. And then another. Each of us patting the other on the back and congratulating ourselves for participating in this momentous event. I glanced to my left, and sitting alone, at a table just like mine, was an African-American woman in her late 40's, with tears streaming down her face. I wondered how many times she had chose to face an election alone in order to suffer her own disappointment in private, just as I was attempting to do tonight. How many times had she been let down by her co-workers, neighbors, and family members in her fight to be recognized as equal in the eyes of all? And in that moment, I realized a lesson in patience.

Our struggle as gay and lesbian Americans is a baby in comparison to other civil rights' efforts and we are certainly suffering from another setback today. But if last night's election proved anything it is that in the United States of America progress is inevitable, sometimes is just takes time. Almost a decade ago, anti-gay Californians passed similar discriminatory legislation with the Knight campaign that defined marriage as between a man and a woman. But their victory that night was much more decisive. Today we see that Proposition 8 will only pass by the narrowest of margins. And as Barack Obama took the stage last night, for the first time ever, I was mentioned in a presidential acceptance speech. As he talked of inclusion, he spoke of uniting not just Blacks, Whites, Asians, Latinos, Native Americans, the rich and the poor, but of gays and lesbians too. Two times in one night, history was being made and I was part of the conversation. Change is on the way and history will recognize our struggles. The chickens may have been victorious last night, but this caged bird knows he'll get to sing very, very soon."
-Greg

I have hope that all people, created equally, will one day actually have access to those equal rights I keep hearing about.

Didn't your parents teach you how to share?

-'John McCain believes in providing opportunity while Barack Obama believes in mandating sharing the wealth.
Obama believes in mandating shared wealth, why? Americans have a history of sharing their hard earned money with the underprivileged and there is equal opportunity for everyone in America.' --thelizardannex

Bleeding heart liberal is a phrase defined as a person who is considered excessively sympathetic toward those who are underprivileged or exploited, fuck yeah I am a bleeding heart liberal. But much like Peter being asked if he knew Jesus, it's something many people are afraid to admit after that phrase was connected with weakness and ignorance. Well ladies and gentlemen I offer you the new bleeding heart liberal phrase, socialist. I am not certain if it was the second or third of the presidential debates that Senator McCain used the term 'class warfare', but I heard it, sat up, and took notice. Having never really thought of Obama as a Marxist, I started to sift through peoples blogs with the three words Obama McCain and Socialist to understand how I could've missed it! Now I am sitting at the kitchen table enjoying my cup of coffee with the fine writings of my fellow Americans, like that quote above.

Remember when you were in grade school and someone would forget their lunch? Instinctively, as a human, you would offer that person half your sandwich and some of your chips. Why? Because your parents/parent taught you how to share and its just WHAT YOU DO AS A HUMAN BEING. You never looked at the kid and thought, fuckin lazy kid forgot to bring his lunch, fuck him that's his fault. You simply shared. So how old were we when we stopped sharing?

This person wrote 'There is a difference between charity/sharing and taxation. Sharing is an act one chooses to do, taxation is something that is forced. If I don’t share, I’m just an ass. If I don’t pay taxes I’m heading to jail.' My feelings are if people did share, we wouldn't be in the situation we are in now. And why not share, isn't that what Jesus did? However, where in the definition of capitalism does it say share? I was thinking about all the companies I support as a consumer and though some are more ethical than others none can honestly say they don't exploit their workers. By exploit I mean pay a honest wage, a wage that will allow someone to buy a home regardless of the geography in which they live. If the company is making a profit, someone is getting paid more than someone else. The majority of time when that happens in capitalism it's the stockholders/investors who make a profit, not the people actually working. You cannot argue that it takes money in a capitalistic society to make money. Much like Monopoly, the more money you start out with the greater the opportunity to make money. The fact is if everyone was offered equal opportunity to education, livable wages, and stable/safe/ affordable housing, on a level playing field at birth most people's odds would increase. This is not to say everyone is equal, I understand some people work harder than others and some people have a higher education than others, but when you start out at the bottom where is the drive to work harder.

This country was built on the notion that if you just work harder anything is possible, I don't know who would buy that phrase in 2008. I work my ass off, make more than a livable wage, have my graduate degree, yet I will never be able to afford a home Los Angeles and without a home I am at a disadvantage to others. I lack the retirement, investment, and security homeowners have. But I know I live in a very populated city, however understand there are many people who own multiple homes because they need them to make money, after all 56% of homes owned in Los Angeles are used as rentals and purchased as investments, not for the purchaser to live in. But wait there's more, the medium household income in Los Angeles is $44, 894 and to own a home in Los Angeles you need an income of at least $88,900 a year, 1/3 of your income is a safe mortgage payment. So people need to be told share, that's so unreasonable.

The cookies are burning!

3 Days to go until friday. There is something so mysterious, so miraculous, and so so mischevious about Halloween.

I packed up my bags and headed to Vons, because I am Grace Prine's daughter, so I could get halloween cookie dough. Tomorrow is our staff meeting at work and though I often cannot understand the actions of some of my co-workers everyone deserves a halloween treat, or TriCk!



Somewhere between the spice rack and the flour bags I became increasingly lazy and picked up these easy bake cookies. Cute yes and most definitely spooky. They were almost as easy as cup o soups! Then I spread out my 18 plates and proceeded to stack treats o high.



Somewhere between eating m&ms and wrapping plates with plastic wrap I became tired. But no, I must spread cheer so onward I pressed until all the plates were done. Man I am an awesome co-worker. Not only will I work with the clients you have quit on, I will make you cookies too!

I then proceeded to check online for Castro info, convinced and in denial that the event was over. There was a website called halloweeninthecastro.com that says it is on. However that site was met with like ten others that warn if you go to Castro you will be arrested! Who knew? All I know is I like halloween and by golly I am going to enjoy it!

HaLLowEEn!

ThiS iS HaLlOwEEn!

I havent posted for awhile so here goes...


Spent the weekend before Halloween with 2 ghouls..


Bodhi and Zoey, Bozo as they are most commonly referred to as, went with me to the pumpkin patch. I accepted the assignment of baby sittin this weekend while Disco Rob was honored for being one top doc. It was 5pm and the sun was going down at the Del Mar Fairgrounds when they went CRAZY. Somewhere between kettle corn pirate gummys and ice cream it occurred to me they didnt have dinner. This sugar fiesta resulted in two crazy kids, seriously nuts. However Pax was calm and collected. He really kept it together.


and one sweet pumpkin....

I love love Halloween, did you know this. Tonight I am going to finish my costume, going as Medusa. The head piece will hopefully fit on the BART and nothing beats roaming through a city at dusk with a costume, snake staff in one hand and beer in the other, gazing at sexy lobsters...
I mean on what other day of the year could you be a sexy lobster, snake queen, strawberry shortcake, or a wicked witch and still expect service? On what other night do you want to hump everyone that passes you with fishnets, corsets, wigs, and masks? Ever notice how everyone looks sexy on halloween? Monk and I are going to Oakland for Halloween, to spend that night in San Francisco with Mandrew Amy and Berto. Sadly, Castro is no more however with a city so lush in dark culture and debauchery how could I stay home.

I am sitting on the couch looking at my sewing machine and corset wondering how I will piece everything together??? First shower, than a nap, and thennnnnnn I begin the outfit!

Viva la Halloween!! 4 days to go!

Mood- Beside myself!!

our economy

This morning on NPR I heard someone say this about our economic situation

'Private profits, Socialized losses'

Brilliant. I couldn't have said it better. I do not think we, the lower class or middle class, should have to bail out people who profited off people they knew were never going to be able to make their mortgage payments. Those people lost their homes and stood by helpless as their credit crumbled while investment brokers profited. Then I went home for dinner last night to my folks house. My parents, whom like most people their age, have their retirement tied up in investments; investments that will never have time to recover before they need the money to retire on. Thus far my parents have lost about $200,000 of their nest egg and watched as the value of their home dropped to $450,000 from the almost $900,000 it was two years ago.

So bail out huh? I dont know. We ate spaghetti.

Sassy Ashley

Yee intruders beware! Crushing death and grief!



Ashley has been a good friend to me for over six years. She is one of the most kind people I have known, she gives until it hurts her and often wonders through life searching for buried treasure like this girl does. Finally she agreed to sit down and let me turn her into a glamour girl. The night before her shoot she stayed up and watched Zoolander to study Blue Steel's modeling moves. I believe it paid off!



She is a jeans and t-shirt girl but I think I was able to capture a more feminine side of her, and yes folks she even put on lipstick and fake eye lashes for me.

And.... she always smells like a vanilla ice cream cone.

I love you ashley... I mean Blue Steel!

All of her pics are up on the main site! enjoy.

And now Ms Fever Blister...

I give you Ms Fever Blister! This is the brains and beauty behind 'Paws for a Cause' a new nonprofit group which seeks to assist low income pet owners when emergency strikes and services are needed. She is one of the most amazing, charismatic, and charming woman I have met thus far for my ChubbyPigeon project.



When this silly girl was not laughing or sticking her tongue out at me, as she often makes comical faces, I was able to capture a more serious seductive side of her, yeah I said seductive! She performs all over Southern California in a variety of burlesque shows and can also be found in back alleys or when she is lucky, stalking butcher shops.



Do drop in and say hello to her, she is most likely to bring a smile.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=125971275


welcome Ms Fever Blister, you are makin me itch!

a brief trip to china town

anyone want to drink down china town with me?

Center for Inquiry gets five stars

Last night at midnight Alex took to my first ever stand up comedy show at the Center for Inquiry. The center, one block east of my apartment, is my voting place and I always wondered what they did there. It is an atheist based organization dedicated to promoting critical inquiry and human enrichment. Every Saturday night at midnight they host what's known as The Tomorrow Show. A comedy show so crass and politically jarring if you don't like the state of our country the least you can do is have a good laugh about it.

www.cfiwest.org

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, at times I gasped for air and couldn't breathe, and I would like to point out I was sober. The show lasted until 3am and although my butt was numb when I was walking home and still now as I sit here and type this, it was worth it! Wake up butt cheeks!

Anyway check these guys out, they have centers everywhere and admission to events looks to be five bucks or less and they are good people.

-check it out!

and now coffee.

Starting a nonprofit for Dummies

Tonight will be a good night. I am meeting with a fellow homeless advocate and we are going to crack a bottle of wine and brainstorm how to start our own nonprofit. As most of you know I began working in downtown Los Angeles about a
month ago in 'skid row'. The job has been, at times, rewarding however it is incredibly frustrating because none of the agencies work together. Funds are so scarce that most agencies will not help those clients who are not members of
their shelter. So I am thinking what the fuck?

The fact is, the majority of my clients are so paranoid, schizophrenic, or isolated they would rather be on the streets
because they don't trust being around people. Many of these clients have stayed in the emergency shelters and contracted lice, scabies, or had items stolen from them or witnessed violent fights so they choose to sleep on the streets where they actually feel safer. Because of this they are do not have access to hygiene and clothing items that most people in shelters have. And these agencies have basements full of clothing. Its power play at its worst. I dont know what I was thinking about assuming everyone who worked in 'skid row' had the best interest of homeless people in mind. Many people wont even call me back or if I am lucky enough to get an appointment to go and meet someone at an agency they tell me they cant help because the client has to be with me. How the fuck do you get someone who is paranoid schizophrenic into a car and take them some place they have never been. Its really ridiculous.

So I made some phone calls to the actual warehouse super agencies that deliver goods to these shelters and they laid down the facts. Find an agency that will sign off for goods for you and we can deliver goods to you through them. 'Sorry, we dont donate to county'. Frustration and chain smoking began. So I was thinking how hard could it be to start my own nonprofit. Well folks not that hard. You need to come up with $1,000 to register your group, fill out mounds of paperwork proving your mission, elect a board, obtain an employee number with your county office, and build a website. So, first things first we are going to come up with our name and mission statement then talk about some fundraising activities. I was thinking if one hundred people I knew donated ten bucks that would cover the register. ten bucks!

Hence my post. CAN ANYONE THINK OF A CATCHY NAME?
Our basic mission is to obtain donations of clothing and hygiene products that will be hand delivered to those who most need them and to offer hygiene baskets and metro bus passes to those just released from jails or hospitals.
The name I wanted most and that was most catchy to me was 'Never Nude'- :) However alex thought that was too shameful. I also like 'Shirt off your back'.

Ideas?

-me

Close Encounter of a Slithery Kind

I had a visitor tonight. As I walking from my living room to the kitchen I saw a slither outta the corner of my chicken eye. I quickly reverted to the snake patrol stance I learned on my road trip grabbed the flashlight and assumed the position! I gathered the pot from a frying pan and after following the creature from under my bar, behind the tv, under the couch, and between Clue and Battleship I cornered him! (or her) Upon closer inspection my slithering friend appeared to be a tiny baby lizard, long in size but quite thin- something I'm not used to in this all things round house.

We shared a moment and then I set him/her free on the ledge of my window where he/she once again wondered wild into the setting sun. I have named him/her Frogger.

May you have a good life Frogger.

Laboring

Last night at 3:02 am tragedy struck and the filming of our 90210 video took a turn for the worse. Todd crashed into the bar in a vain attempt to reenact the vollyball scene between dylan and brandon. Half my glasses broke- no biggie here as most of them were stolen from various casinos and wine tastings- but a monkeys pride and joy shattered into six pieces. A gorgeous hand crafted robot which took days to complete, sculpted from clay, now sits on top of my kitchen table waiting to be repaired. We should've seen this coming but nope, too much whiskey and my will to recreate the intro to 90210 got the better of us. The mood was quickly somber and one very drunk todd was poured into bed. It is a quiet day in my house and I am trying to stay busy.

I have decided to pull everything out of my closet and get rid of lots of shit I dont need. There are three piles. One for laundry because moths need baths too, one for needs to be hung up, and one for ship it off on the next boat and that boat is getting full! I have lots of stuff in my closet that I was always going to fit into one day, going to alter through sewing, or it was cheap so I bought it- all of that is shipping off to goodwill.

Labor!

CVI 2008

This was the 9th year, next year will be our ten year anniversary, dont know how we are going to top that!!!


-made by mandy melson!!!

I love her.

-boobshot

Meet Demonika Darkly

I had the pleasure of meeting yet another fine woman for my chubbypigeon project yesterday. Demonika is amazing, both in body and soul. Surviving a fire nearly ten years ago and almost dying, this woman arose from the ashes and formed a new and stronger self.



She has many creative projects in the Los Angeles area including her band known as Demonika And The Darklings. She entertains people with her voice, musical abilities, and creativity. She is confident as well as a confidence builder in everyone she comes into contact with, truly believing in herself. If I could just have a slice of her confidence pie I would be happy! :) With whipped cream!



You can view more pictures of her my site or stop by and pay her a visit at her site at www.DemonikaAndTheDarklings.com

I hope we see more of her!

Another reason to move to Japan!

On October 17 2007 I posted about my affections, no sheer pleasure, for q-tips. This morning I am proud to write that I am not alone.

A friend pointed out that there are ear cleaning establishment, called Nagomiya, in Japan. 'After paying 2,500 yen for 30 mins or 4,500 yen for 60 mins, a girl dressed in traditional Japanese clothing will let you lay your head in her warm lap while she gives your ears a good going over. First off you get some tea and a cold oshibori (wet towel). You then lay your head in her lap where upon she uses cold lotion to give your ears a massage. After that she proceeds to clean out your ears with an ear cleansing utensil. She then takes your ear wax and stirs it into warm soda water where upon she drinks it right before your eyes.'



I like it!

Channel Surfing

There is an old western on channel 13, a football game on 11, news repeats on 9, some show about doctors which is more like a soap opera, on 7, a teen drama on 5, and the save my soul channels PBS and KCET are both disappointing me now. There is city construction on the street outside, some type of emergency hole is being pounded through to the sewer. It is hot and humid and my fridge offers no relief. In it now to drink are four things: over 40 cans of beer which I rescued from Vegas, flat sprite, a half drank soda that tasted bad so I put it back in the fridge instead of throwing it away (why I dont know), and water. I am having a glass of water. The fan is suckin semi cold air in the front windows and pushin the hot air to the back of my small cave, so rest assured when this bear hibernates tonight she will not be happy.

Its quiet here. I have been sitting here since I got home at 5pm trying to figure out why I am in a funk. My phone has not rang and I miss Monique who has been in Vegas for weeks and fear her move there is imminent. I dont have any plans for anything and I think that's part of the issue. All week I have come home from work and just come home. My summer road trip came and went, CVI is over, and now I work. Work for the first time in my life is 8 to 4. I dont think the mundane m-f schedule is for me. Its not that I dont like the job, in fact it is getting better than when I first started. I just feel so bland.

You see when I get home its 5pm and I know I have to wake up at 6:30am, so whats the point of trying to do something. So I usually just nap. Then I wake up around 8pm and wonder what I should do before I go back to bed at 11pm. Depressing huh? My treadmill beckons me, as do my long walks down los feliz, but I dont have the energy for anything. I think I need some friends. Have those feelings I had watching the sun come up over the road faded? How come I can no longer smell the campfire? I am off to look at houses for sale in Arches.

Agnes Street

Me & Me Familia

When i ask people to come over I usually ask them to come over to my house- you know the old brick building in Hollywood. However, it has become increasingly aware that my home is still located on Agnes Street. I have spent the last seven days here with my mother who threw out her knee while line dancing at a charity event- apparently the West is still wild. With her unable to drive I have become her driver which actually has allowed for us to spend time together. During this time I have been on the phone with friends and family and when asked where I was I referred to myself as being home. 'Oh, do you want to go do something?' friends would ask, my reply was no, I mean I'm home as in at my parents house. I dont know at what point in my life I will stop referring to this house as my home. I did grow up here however I have been living on my own since 19, yup 15 years. almost half of my life.

When the earthquake occurred yesterday I was taking a nap- working graveyard leaves me napping often- upstairs in my old room. I immediately jumped into the doorway as I watched the walls turn to jello. However its not the earthquake I found most interesting, rather it was the memories that this event triggered. I could remember standing in the doorway in prior quakes with my sisters and shouting out to family downstairs who dove under the table for safety. This time when the shaking stopped it was I who checked on my mom. However, as I went downstairs to check on my mom something weird happened. While running down those stairs I felt like that little girl again. It was very surreal.

Interestingly enough I have 7,523 photos in my iphoto library and none of those are pictures of this house. Remember old time photos with families standing on lawns with their houses boldly behind them, I have none. I think this house will always be my 'home'. It also made me realize how fortunate I am to still have access to this house and that my family still gathers here on holidays. My best friend recently lost his home, by lost I mean it was demolished, obliterated, existing no more due to relocation by the city. I felt for him as he was forced to not only move personal belongings that had been gathered there for three decades, I felt for him as he lost his 'home'. I realize how fortunate I am to have my own dwelling, however I am so much more fortunate that I can still go 'home'.

May I introduce Sin Sevile...

Sin has been a long time friend of mine and I was so pleased she decided to work with me. She is simply intelligent, caring, and most of all fun to be around. I haven't seen as much of her lately as I would like however hopefully this will change.



She is the newest chubbypigeon model and I love her!!!!!



yay!

There's been a lot of farting...and a lot of love

This is the last post I will write, why, because I am going to pawn my mac and buy a home in the middle of nowhere.

Amy and I finished up in Utah with Arches National Park, stunning. By far the best sunsets on this journey. We also hiked a bit through the park, in the 101 degree weather; however we mostly drove through and took some pictures.


Judas!

Today we awoke again in Colorado and proudly rode the Durango Silverton train. It was like ten bucks when we rode as kids, now we both paid 75 bucks; nostalgia does not come cheaply to these parts. However worth every cent!





The train runs through valleys only accessible to crazy rafters or by train. It was like a piece of time that man forget to rape, truly untouched. Amy and I had a blast on the train and arrived in Silverton with a slight buzz to hit up all the old saloons we could in the one and half break before the turn around trip.





We are now sittin at the fireside and remembering all the stupid and awesome things we have done on this trip. Tomorrow we head to the grand canyon after passing through four corners to do more of those stupid things. Then we will be home on friday. We have developed esp and it is kinda scary how in sync we have become. Its like we 'finish each others sandwiches'. I will miss her when I get home. Bye Amy and bye Nogales.

She spent some time tonight counting up her spoons and she has 18. My snow globes are all over the car and quite frankly I am too tired to find them all and see how many I have. To the last couple nights I say, drink up sister, I love you!

-rebs

Arches, Twisters, & Homemade Brew

Havent been able to dock the boat for awhile but I am finally able to now. We settled in to Utah- Arches National Park, where it is 101 degrees right now at 6:00pm, we opted for a cabin with ac!

So much distance covered and adventures had however I am so tired and too hot to share everything so here go some highlights!!

We left Tennessee- my favorite state thus far- who knew- and drove into arkansas to see the Trail of Tears, then into Missouri to see the gateway to the west but more importantly to tour the Ann. Bush factory! yay beer!





We camped along the Missouri river in the most wicked lightening storm!!! Yes, once again I was scared, and yes once again it turned out to be for no reason. Like armadillos, tornatos and I have never met so I stayed up all night waiting for one to suck me up, it didnt, and here I am.

>

We headed into Kansas, destination Beaver- a small town of less then 30 peeps- to stay a night with my uncle Lenny who has his own kick ass brewery!



With a list of recommendations on what to eat and how many growlers to bring home we went in with a list. Linda, his wife, and Lenny work the brewery and call it Mo's place. It was rad, first because they didnt charge us for anything so Amy and I had like 8 beer each, chicken strips, hickory smoked burgers, corn nuggets (these are heaven), potato cheese poppers, baked potato, and to top it off heavenly ice cream sandwiches; it was also so great to see my uncle so happy. His life looks complete, simple and relaxed and it was nice having the opportunity to see him.


Me, Lenny, Linda, and Amy



We left the next day and headed into Colorado- beauty beauty!!! I have yet to upload the pics but thanks to Alex's recommendation we stopped in Denver to go to Casa Bonita, seen the South Park episode?
It was crazy!!!!! Its not just dinner, it is the huge vast indoor amusement mecca--this can only be explained through pictures!

Anyway I am going to swim now. I am on the last legs of this miraculous journey and it has been such an amazing experience. I hope everyone has the opportunity to do this someday- and me maybe twice!

America is so beautiful. And I am so sweaty. Tomorrow is the Durango Train and then on to Grand Canyon to finish off the last couple of days...:(

-rebs

Jack Daniels meets Elvis

We did it, on my list of top destinations, ladies and gentlemen I give you Jack Daniels. This tour was like watching how the bible was written, it was an entire walk through and lesson about how good whiskey is made and the tour allows you to sniff every step. The most nauseating step was one, the ingredients lay in huge vats then heated to perfection, but holy mole was the smell strong, so strong a day later I still have Jack Daniels stuck somewhere between my throat and nose- like bad drugs! We got gifts for everyone, dont worry... Also did you know this tour takes place in a dry county- yup no samples! So no sales other then the kick ass gifts we bought, however if we opened and drank them there we would be jailed- YAY BOOTLEGGIN!!



After that we rolled into Memphis, checked into a shitty motel along the mississippi, which is crazy full, and hit Beale Street, home of the blues. We were a bit disappointed with how touristy it was but the music and atmosphere were good, I put amy to bed for the second time!



In the morning we went to GRACELAND! Amy took the proper steps to ensure she embodied the look of a crazy fan and we went inside the mansion of Elvis- I cannot even explain it so I wont, just wait for pictures. It looked like a cross between an old colonial style home and the Madonna Inn.



We then went to the assassination site of Dr. King. Sad. Dont have much to say on this topic that I havent already said in prior entries; I am honored to have been there.



Tennessee is by far the most racist state we have been in, this state is more what I thought the "South" would be like. A few days ago when Amy and I were in Pigeon Forge, TN I was drinking water in a parking lot while she shopped and I had the pleasure of overhearing a conversation between two couples about how Barak Osama will never become president and how we -america- have so many weapons stockpiled that it will ensure no nigger ever becomes president. They laughed and I stood there full of so much shock, then anger, then sadness. I said nothing because nothing came to mind that would change what had been said. For anyone, my uncle and aunt included, who say that racism is dead and Blacks should just get over it and move on, I am asking you to spread your wings and fly. This country is only slightly better since its recent history with civil rights. It makes me so angry and so sad that all I can do is try not to scream the same profanities at them they see in others. Uneducated, unworldy, and shame on their parents for raising them with these values.

fireflies

Never was a horse like the Tennessee Mare

Blew into the smoky mountains in Tennessee yesterday. Breathtaking. Listened to John Denver for the ride along the Blue Ridge Mountains, also known as the Appalachian Trial. The quiet and full force foliage road lead us into Smoky Mountain National Park in Tennessee. This state is breathtaking. I now know what he means when he sings 'almost heaven, west virginia, blue ridge mountains, shining blue rivers'.



Amy and I are calling the small rustic town of Pigeon Forge our home for the next couple of days. With thunder storms always present we are staying in a small cabin along the river, known also as Pigeon River,



awesome huh? It is also home to the Dukes of Hazard. We are going to visit Cooter's later, the bar- now museum- in which the tv show was filmed. Going to look for that special one piece for Lance! Also I thought it important to point out as we get closer to the original KFC and KFC museum, buffets are a constant. Buffet at KFC anyone??? :)



Last night I was able to become the most intimate with fireflies. I put seven of them in a jar and used them for the lantern that guided me down the KOA road to play Ms Pacman, cool of coolness. I also let some lose in our cabin to enjoy at night. These insects are everywhere here and so friendly they just land on you and almost sit down fireside and enjoy a beer!
The above video is me playing with fireflies!!

Amy is on a hike through the smoky mountains now as I opted to sleep in late- good choice. Later we are going to hit the bars of PIgeon Forge, it is said by my motorcycle neighbor they have moonshine here, though no alcohol sales on sunday- how is that a division of church and state!!! This is the first time amy and i have been separated on this trip, I feel alone!! It could be because I am the middle of Tennessee without a car, no way to access moonshine unless I hitchhike, or it could be because I miss my sister- I opt for the last one.

Moonshine awaits!
-Rebs