Gromphadorhina Portentosa

At first I thought I had met someone who was fun to hang with and incredibly nice however when I walked into her house and saw a cage on the floor with bark chips in it I knew I had made a new friend, one who wouldn’t think my fondness for insects was odd or disgusting. Yay for new friends! Lillian had Gromphadorhina portentosa, Madagascar hissing cockroaches and I had the opportunity to view these caged beauties up-close and personal. They have armor on the heads that resembles big eyes and a sophisticated eyebrow line, truly remarkable. It is often thought the cockroach will inherit the earth after we kill ourselves with radiation, war, or global warming- you can pick which comes first. The cockroach is one of the hardiest insects on the planet, capable of living for a month without food; being able to survive even on the glue from the back of postage stamps. It can also hold its breath for 45 minutes and has the ability to slow down its heart rate. Who cannot admire these qualities?
*One should also note that when you step on a roach they put out a signal to their group that they are threatened and begin breeding faster and eggs spring open so you're actually making things worse for yourself, the same goes for ants.

Q-Tip Pleasures

I have a fetish for picking things. In the common English language a fetish is any degree of attention given to a singular inanimate object, body part, body feature or sexual behavior. Though the word fetish often triggers some type of image of handcuffs or two men embraced in latex, the fact is fetishes can be as ordinary as a married couple’s sex life.
For me this means that picking things are equal to yoga, meditation, and sometimes the sensations generated from picking things is quite similar to the physical results of masturbation. When I pull things like wax out of my ear or lint out of my belly button I get happy, sometimes tingly. People who are honest will admit that having their ears cleaned is generally considered a pleasant feeling, like having one's back scratched. The cleaning of ears is sometimes considered an act of intimacy when performed by a mother to a child or by one's lover. A navel fetishist can be sexually aroused by viewing the inside of a belly button, picking or sniffing the navel of another person, or by having any of that done to their own navel by another or, to a lesser extent, themselves.
The sad thing is this fetish landed me in urgent care last night. I became so convinced there was something of significance in my ear such as a doubloon or insect that I scratched the inside of my ear raw with a q-tip, thus leaving the skin open to infection which must have happened when I used my fingernail to play with the inside of my ear. The doctor humored me as she told me stories of people who had exotic objects shoved into their ears. Alas, I was not one of these; I simply had an ear infection. As of writing this now I cannot hear out of my left ear and there is a severe pain in my neck, I was given eardrops for my infection and a refill of vicodin for the pain, a refill I needed thanks to one banana grabber. I was told to throw out all my q-tips but when I opened my cabinet I couldn’t do it. Is there something wrong with me or is picking parts of your body too enticing to stop, even at the expense of ones health? They need to make mechanical devices that feel as good in ones ear as in ones pussy.

Racists Need ESL Classes

The immigration debate rages on and I spent my morning reading the latest posts on the la times page, laughing most of the way through them.
The question put forth was Do you believe the massive sweeps and deportations help solve the U.S. immigration problem?

The link is here: http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-immig-gb,1,7850514.graffitiboard?coll=la-util-news-local

However I thought I would post some of the funnier ones for you all to enjoy.
(these are copied and pasted-I in no way altered the spelling/grammar, that’s why they’re so great!)

-To all Ilegals Alien in this country. If you not respect our law, you should out of here.
Submitted by: OC
- There is no raciam. This is all they can come up with. The Qustion is why does our government not enforce the laws that are in place? . Why do Americans have to suffer in many ways.ays Examles ID theft, Overcrowded schools, freeways, drugs coming accross our bordars, jobs and on and on. If you are angry vote and get the politicans out of office, that go against what the American people have asked them to do.
Submitted by: Lesle W.
- Has everyone forgotten 9-11. National security. Most of the terrorists and ploters were illegal immigrants. Plotting our demise from within our own homeland. We are not xenophobes. I know so may people who have come here legally. They are happy and feel welcome. Any immigrants who come here and knowlingly break the law should expect to be deported.
Submitted by: PC Carroll (haha, my fav the 9/11 link!)
- YES ALL ILLEGALS IMAGRANTS SHOUD BE DEPORTED THERE ARE NO MORE SUMER JOBS FOR SIXTEEN YR OLDS OUR SOCIAL SECURITY IS ALL DRIED UPP LOOK AT THE CLOSING OF ER WAKE UP AMERICA
Submitted by: MILLICENT SCOTT
- Please don't compare the civil rights movement with illegal immigration. Illegal aliens have NO rights in America period! Maybe if all these maids and gardeners stayed in their own countries they would be forced to make their own countries better. Stop running North everytime there's an armed conflict in your third world country. Can you say Cowards? I for one don't want you in MY Country!
Submitted by: Wm (if this was posted by an African American I will cry)
- Absoultly. Put a 15 foot wall up with guns and watch the crime go down, drugs and gangs go down, health care costs go down, Polution from unregestered cars go down. Watch taxes go down because we have to pay for all the illlegal health care and schooling, Watch jobs increase for leagle ameicans. The snowbal effect from so many filtering in is staggering. Stop and look at your deductions on your paycheck and ask yourself where all the money is going.
Submitted by: KH

How great is this country!
So brave, so american.

A Dollop of Trollops

-my house in the morning with champagne and make-up
This is a prelude of more to come. I had the honor of spending the day with Lolita La Vey and April Flores, dressing them up in my hats and costumes then shooting them in an old Victorian housing lot. It couldnt have been more entertaining and my models couldnt have been more beautiful. I am happy to have two such lovely ladies in my life.



-April Flores

-Lolita La Vey

-me and the lasses, I contained myself adaquately.

Visit the main page for all the photos!