Chubby Pigeon: April 2009

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Cocktails? No, thank you.

Today monk and I woke up at 8:30 am, got coffee, and rolled to the getty villa on pch. I haven't been here in quite some time and although they have moved much of the antiquities I liked to the new getty I still love visiting this museum if only to stroll the gorgeous hallways and act like I live here.

This weekend I had one goal, to get through a weekend without having a drink. I don't think I have a drinking problem, as long as I am not drinking. You see, I am one of those functional alcoholics in that I do not drink that often but when I do, usually a social weekend occasion, I drink too much; leaving me hung over for a couple days. The older I get the longer my hangovers last and after leaving Oakland last weekend with a hangover that lasted for three days I said to myself, self..you are not going to drink again next weekend. And you know what, this self did not drink!

The gift shop was eh and I really wanted to buy this hat but it was 25 bucks. I don't think I could really walk like an egyptian all that much so figured it wasn't worth it.

Monk also attempted to walk like an egyptian but then the man working in the gift shop told us we were not allowed to try stuff on. We scowled at him, unleashed a fury of evil converting him to stone, and managed to get out of the tomb before the snakes ate us. We made it just in time for a picnic in the alcove above the herb garden.

After the getty we drove down pch along the beaches in malibu and found ourselves in Culver City inside the Museum of Jurassic Technology. I will not describe, nor could I if I tried, what is within this museum however it is worth going to, simply beautiful and disturbing.

You can visit their site here: http://www.mjt.org/

So now it is 7:48 pm and I am going to sit down and watch sunday night telly; family guy and simpsons with monk and a glass of water. I have made it, not one drip since last weekend and I feel good knowing I actually spent a weekend out and about. There were reasons that made it hard and conclusions that made it clear I have work to do, however I feel the better person for it.

That's all. Thank you.

Why Chubby Pigeon

Laying the Egg that Became Chubby Pigeon:

When I was in 6th grade there was a boy in my glass named Darren Musto. I have a very poor memory yet somehow I will forever remember this kids name. Like most girls, I met puberty much sooner then the boys in my class and for me this meant being about 2 feet taller then most of them. I also developed hips, tits, and ass much younger as I was blessed to have the family chubby gene. This kid Darren would stand behind me in the hallway as we pilled into class and mutter the word ‘AMAZON’ in my ear. At the time I had no idea what it meant but it didn’t sound pleasing. I wanted so badly to be shorter that I would often stand hunched over with both kneecaps bent in a vain attempt to appear shorter. When I look back on my adolescent pictures now I simply look like I had some type of physical defect. Ah those were the awkward days of puberty. Fuck em.

As I grew older I discovered the origin of this word. Amazon: a notably tall, physically strong or strong willed woman. I am 5’11. Yes I am tall and yes I am chubby. It didn’t take long for me to appreciate what this meant. In our society tits come in very handy. As John Waters once wrote –the first thing a woman learns is that tits are a weapon, if you’ve got em stick em out.’

I then began to notice that much of my teenage years were spent in pursuit of getting other girls into bed that had these assets. I appreciated all body types, yet there was something more enticing to me about girls with a little extra junk in their trunk. I also have a phobia of bones, which may contribute to picking those partners I intended on fucking to have extra padding. To me nothing is sexier then a voluptuous girl confident in her body type and willing to show it off without the fear of being judged, ridiculed, or harassed.

About three years ago my depression soared and I began to doubt everything beautiful about my body. I found my weight to be my enemy, my tits and ass too big, my age too old, and in general I was just fat. I found myself hating skinny girls because it appeared to be what everyone found attractive. The fact is I can never be skinny, small, or younger. I am not a girl who giggles or asks questions I know the answers to to make other people feel smart, yet I found myself contemplating these horrific acts.

I started therapy, worked on and continue working through these challenges and now think fuck it. I am not an advocate of American plastic surgery and view the act as another component to the hyper capitalism fear of death oppression and expectations women in this society fall victim to. So, I squatted and out came the egg that cracked open into chubby pigeon. I want to have a forum to display what I think beauty is. I wanted to have a place where I can share my political ideologies, videos, sexual explorations, pigeon adventures, and display my fetish for beautiful chubby women wearing ornate hats.

I want to read your comments, hear your opinions, and listen to your stories. As women in this society we are exploited, pitted against each other, oppressed, and are given a list of unattainable expectations by men who hold over us an ideal that I would never want to fuck, the same men who find self-confidence to be sexy but do so little to build it. So here it is, Chubby Pigeon, welcome to my nest.

Chubby Pigeon

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Cocktails? No, thank you.

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Why Chubby Pigeon

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