This week

This week at work I held my first graduation for our SCORE group... Skid row Co-Occurring Recovery and Empowerment Program. I am proud to say we had 13 graduates from all those who started. In order to graduate one had to attend nine months of a three day a week support group and complete each exercise. I am so proud! Not only do these individuals live in skid row, deal with severe mental illness, and battle homeless; they saw to it that three days out of the week they spent two hours in group. This is a big deal!!!


I learned a lot from this group and have a tremendous amount of respect for them. Much of our conversation was about how to deal with symptoms related to mental illness in a healthy way and how to develop a support system to rely on when past trauma's surface. Where once a hand reached for pills, a pipe, or a bottle, these individuals learned to rely on the support of each other to get through it. I struggle weekly through relapses however this group gave me hope that much is possible when the mind has assured itself of change!


There were tears, helping hands, and proud speeches! It went off just as planned I hope that the group released how proud I am of all their hard work and dedication to improving their lives!

I also made this hat...

one of my proudest yet! Photographing a beauty in this hat will come this week. Stand by for pictures!

Now I sit in my moms house where I came to take shelter with the air conditioner. She goes into surgery tomorrow for a hysterectomy. She will be fine, as there is no other option and I will be there waiting to take her home!
Have a good week!

Monkey's are Go! And 36!

Behold Yamashiro!

Last night I took Monkey to Yamashiro, a fine Japanese restaurant in the Hollywood Hills. He celebrated his 36 year of birth and because this last year has been very hard work for him I wanted to do something to demonstrate how I proud I am of all of his accomplishments!


Our journey began with drinks in the garden. It was also movie night so they played Ghostbusters, to celebrate their 25th birthday, on the patio as we sipped drinks and waited for our table. They had delicious Sangria with rose pedals inside the drink that made a unique yet overwhelming taste. I also tried a fruit from Hawaii, known as zapote. It sort of taste like a pear and apparently according to one charming bartender it is the new rage in Los Angeles for Martini's. I just opted for the fruit.


Once inside we enjoyed a fine cuisine of Sushi!!!!! I have recently discovered that I like unagi, eel. I got the unagi with avacado and Monkey got the sushi extravaganza, he a bit more bold and daring in taste than I. The staff were kind enough to bring him a mini birthday cake of vanilla soy bean however they failed to bang the giant gong located in the lobby when you first enter, eh. Guess the place was too classy for reenactments of Farrel's big drum and sparklers.


After dinner we strolled through the 'pagoda garden' on the restaurant grounds.

It was twilight and the weather cool. We talked about life and about how we have changed, agreeing it was for the better and explored what lies ahead. Monkey is my best friend and although at times we have been at each others throats and struggled to remain friends, I feel I am very blessed to have him in my life.

Happy Birthday Monkey!

10% Goal!

I am a Weight Watcher

I haven't written anything on here yet about my journey through outer space, otherwise known as Weight Watchers so here goes.

My dad, mom, and I joined Weight Watchers on Feb 2 because we all knew we had to get a little healthier. It's been an odd journey and I am not 100% sure how I feel about it thus far. My weight when we rang in the New Year was 267 pounds. I have been heavier, however I knew I had been lighter. My goal in joining was to feel healthier and not take so many naps. Since I have joined this program I have lost a total of 36 pounds and tonight in our weight watcher meeting I got my 10% key chain. It's kinda like AA when you celebrate your month sober and they give you a keychain trinket. I released- the weight watcher term for lost- 10 % of my starting weight. My dad is right behind me with three pounds to go for his 10% and my mom about seven pounds to go. More than anything I just enjoy the weekly weigh in's and meeting. Every Monday Night I come down to Cerritos to go to meetings with them then we sit on the couch eating ice cream and watching law and order. It's a great tradition. On a side note, I also treadmill about three times a week and am now up to jogging with the help of Michael Jackson. I never thought I would jog.

Two things that are odd to me-
1. Friends and co-workers tell me I look so good. When this happens my first reaction is - fuck, what did I look like before or why didn't you say that when I was heavier.
2.- I can see the start of my rib cage and my ribs when I lay down. Ok, not that I am Iggy Pop by any stretch of the imagination but this is a new feeling to me and one that sort of makes me nauseous. When this happens there is a spot in my brain that tells me I must be losing weight because I am sick like cancer or what not. Tonight when I got the keychain I wanted to share this with the group but I chose not to. However, after confiding with my mom she said the same thing happens to her. She explored this and came to the conclusion that it may be the result of watching her daughter die of caner and become so thin. I thought about that too.

Anyway, 10%.... Weight Watchers goal weight for someone my height, 5'11, is minimum 179 pounds. I would have no tits, not to mention at 231 I have begun wearing a push up bra at all times when I want cleavage. I like tits, ah tits and if I lose anymore of them I will feel less feminine. I will keep you posted about this journey but just wanted to share it thus far. I also now wear a size 16 dress. Fuckin weird. The weight on my drivers license reads 220, this is what I weighed in high school. I am almost there and that is FINE with me!

I am now going to have some ice cream to celebrate it!

:)

Possible things I could be doing right now..

I am sittin on my couch after a long day and an even longer shower and I am trying to get up and do something. Instead of getting up I have opted to make a list of possible things I 'could' be doing:

1. Clean my bathroom
2. Mop my kitchen floor
3. Fix my vacuum
4. Hang up or wash all the clothes on my floor
5. Put in a movie from netflix
Options are Best of Chris Farley or Spider
6. Make a hat or finish the one that is almost done
7. Make dinner
8. Or just eat something for dessert
9. Re-arrange furniture
10. Try on clothing that used to be too small
11. Look at new houses posted on redfin
12. Prepare and review bills to be paid next payday
13. Call my sister, brother, friends, or family
14. Ichat with someone
15. Clean out my jewelry box and pair up earrings
16. Look for neat free stuff on craigslist
17. Make Monkey a craft for his bday
18. Put a bottle of port in my freezer to chill
19. Note Number 18 would require me to defrost my frezer first - Defrost my Freezer
20. Dust and refill snow globes to appropriate water levels
21. Sew a new skirt from fabric collecting dust behind my sewing machine
22. Treadmill with my weights
23. Begin planning my halloween costume
24. Turn on the heater or close the window- its getting cold in here
25. Take apart my coffee maker and explore why its not brewing coffee anymore
26. Go buy a new coffee maker
27. Spray off and clean all picture frames on the wall
28. Update some pictures in my frames
29. Call Kaiser and refill my prescriptions
30. Look up flights or car rental costs for CVI
31. Finish the book I am reading 'Blood Meridian'
32. Make a cup of hot chocolate

Ok. So maybe I am lazy, but I will opt to say I am bored!

Jeopardy is on now- got to go, this requires no movement whatsoever!