Chubby Pigeon: What if no one were fat?

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What if no one were fat?

MSN has published yet another groundbreaking and fresh (read: stereotypical and craptacular overall) article posing the question: What if no one in America were fat? MSN takes it from the financial standpoint:
We’d save billions of dollars in gas. Airlines would double their profits. A dearth of diabetes and other diseases would save billions of dollars more. […] Productivity would rise, potentially creating tens of thousands more jobs or higher wages all around.
Add up the savings up on health, food, clothing and efficiencies, and you could buy a professional home gym for every U.S. household — or hand each $4,270 in cash.
Yawn.
Fat drivers use more gas and they’re COSTING US MONEY!
Fat clothes-wearers need more material to cover themselves and they’re COSTING US MONEY!
Fat folks are sick all the time and the cost is sucking away healthcare dollars from those who really need it and they’re COSTING US MONEY!
Fat folks are dragging companies down by taking all those sick days or sitting at their desks feeling unwell, and they’re COSTING US MONEY!
ZOMG! Fat is attacking our economy! No wonder we’re on the verge of recession, what with fat folks basically stealing money from fellow commuters, fashionistas, CEO’s, and kids with cancer.

On top of these savings would be billions of dollars more. Manufacturers and builders wouldn’t have to make doorways bigger, car seats wider, furniture stouter. Some even argue that global warming would slow a mite, as consumption of gas, energy, fertilizer and methane-producing cattle decreased. --- taken from fatgrrl.com

my 2 cents: hahaha, america can never have too many scapegoats. i would hate to be a gay undocumented fat person. this country is so fucked up, never mind the actual reason that this hyper-capitalistic country is consuming itself. if anything this country should love fat people, if all we do is over consume we raise demand, straining supply, ensuring more profit for corporations- by all accounts we are the image of capitalism and they should fly flags in our honor.
i’m so delighted to know fat people are destroying this country, i am going to celebrate by eating an icecream.

1 comment:

---- said...: THIS COUNTRY IS DRIVING ME BONKERS!!!! And anyways, what!? Who even wrote this article?! Way to pull a lot of information OUT OF YOUR ASS!!! It's not even true!! GEEZ.; May 10, 2008 at 12:06 AM

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Why Chubby Pigeon

Laying the Egg that Became Chubby Pigeon:

When I was in 6th grade there was a boy in my glass named Darren Musto. I have a very poor memory yet somehow I will forever remember this kids name. Like most girls, I met puberty much sooner then the boys in my class and for me this meant being about 2 feet taller then most of them. I also developed hips, tits, and ass much younger as I was blessed to have the family chubby gene. This kid Darren would stand behind me in the hallway as we pilled into class and mutter the word ‘AMAZON’ in my ear. At the time I had no idea what it meant but it didn’t sound pleasing. I wanted so badly to be shorter that I would often stand hunched over with both kneecaps bent in a vain attempt to appear shorter. When I look back on my adolescent pictures now I simply look like I had some type of physical defect. Ah those were the awkward days of puberty. Fuck em.

As I grew older I discovered the origin of this word. Amazon: a notably tall, physically strong or strong willed woman. I am 5’11. Yes I am tall and yes I am chubby. It didn’t take long for me to appreciate what this meant. In our society tits come in very handy. As John Waters once wrote –the first thing a woman learns is that tits are a weapon, if you’ve got em stick em out.’

I then began to notice that much of my teenage years were spent in pursuit of getting other girls into bed that had these assets. I appreciated all body types, yet there was something more enticing to me about girls with a little extra junk in their trunk. I also have a phobia of bones, which may contribute to picking those partners I intended on fucking to have extra padding. To me nothing is sexier then a voluptuous girl confident in her body type and willing to show it off without the fear of being judged, ridiculed, or harassed.

About three years ago my depression soared and I began to doubt everything beautiful about my body. I found my weight to be my enemy, my tits and ass too big, my age too old, and in general I was just fat. I found myself hating skinny girls because it appeared to be what everyone found attractive. The fact is I can never be skinny, small, or younger. I am not a girl who giggles or asks questions I know the answers to to make other people feel smart, yet I found myself contemplating these horrific acts.

I started therapy, worked on and continue working through these challenges and now think fuck it. I am not an advocate of American plastic surgery and view the act as another component to the hyper capitalism fear of death oppression and expectations women in this society fall victim to. So, I squatted and out came the egg that cracked open into chubby pigeon. I want to have a forum to display what I think beauty is. I wanted to have a place where I can share my political ideologies, videos, sexual explorations, pigeon adventures, and display my fetish for beautiful chubby women wearing ornate hats.

I want to read your comments, hear your opinions, and listen to your stories. As women in this society we are exploited, pitted against each other, oppressed, and are given a list of unattainable expectations by men who hold over us an ideal that I would never want to fuck, the same men who find self-confidence to be sexy but do so little to build it. So here it is, Chubby Pigeon, welcome to my nest.

Chubby Pigeon

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What if no one were fat?

1 comment:

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