Chubby Pigeon: Drop another coin in the slot and I will tell you more.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Drop another coin in the slot and I will tell you more.

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I am not a religious person however on the rare occasion this pointless universe hands me something of value I take notice. Yesterday in an old saloon I stumbled upon one of those antique fortune-telling machines, you know the ones that spit cards out as useless as your actual life. Now it could’ve been the cocktail of beer and xanax or the interior of the building however this machine called to me, it also could’ve been that as me being a Piscean I am forever drawn to things that don’t exist. The old clay woman from within the booth gave me the following fortune:

Be careful and always look before you leap. Things right now are not as rosy as you anticipate. Make sure you have an absolute thorough understanding of the life you lead. You are naturally too liberal and often times get the worst of it, but you are so broad-minded that, rather then cause hard feelings with anybody, you will stand for abuse and say nothing. Remember that people will always have their best interest in mind and these interests are not your own. Your life is marked with loneliness and despair from the actions of others and though you struggle to make sense of this, failure seems deliberate. You must learn to use your creativity to adjust to such things and will eventually understand that disappointment and isolation will occur often. Drop another coin in the slot and I will tell you more.

I thought better of it and kept my dime, rather then gain additional insight into this life that has turned out to be entirely too long.

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Why Chubby Pigeon

Laying the Egg that Became Chubby Pigeon:

When I was in 6th grade there was a boy in my glass named Darren Musto. I have a very poor memory yet somehow I will forever remember this kids name. Like most girls, I met puberty much sooner then the boys in my class and for me this meant being about 2 feet taller then most of them. I also developed hips, tits, and ass much younger as I was blessed to have the family chubby gene. This kid Darren would stand behind me in the hallway as we pilled into class and mutter the word ‘AMAZON’ in my ear. At the time I had no idea what it meant but it didn’t sound pleasing. I wanted so badly to be shorter that I would often stand hunched over with both kneecaps bent in a vain attempt to appear shorter. When I look back on my adolescent pictures now I simply look like I had some type of physical defect. Ah those were the awkward days of puberty. Fuck em.

As I grew older I discovered the origin of this word. Amazon: a notably tall, physically strong or strong willed woman. I am 5’11. Yes I am tall and yes I am chubby. It didn’t take long for me to appreciate what this meant. In our society tits come in very handy. As John Waters once wrote –the first thing a woman learns is that tits are a weapon, if you’ve got em stick em out.’

I then began to notice that much of my teenage years were spent in pursuit of getting other girls into bed that had these assets. I appreciated all body types, yet there was something more enticing to me about girls with a little extra junk in their trunk. I also have a phobia of bones, which may contribute to picking those partners I intended on fucking to have extra padding. To me nothing is sexier then a voluptuous girl confident in her body type and willing to show it off without the fear of being judged, ridiculed, or harassed.

About three years ago my depression soared and I began to doubt everything beautiful about my body. I found my weight to be my enemy, my tits and ass too big, my age too old, and in general I was just fat. I found myself hating skinny girls because it appeared to be what everyone found attractive. The fact is I can never be skinny, small, or younger. I am not a girl who giggles or asks questions I know the answers to to make other people feel smart, yet I found myself contemplating these horrific acts.

I started therapy, worked on and continue working through these challenges and now think fuck it. I am not an advocate of American plastic surgery and view the act as another component to the hyper capitalism fear of death oppression and expectations women in this society fall victim to. So, I squatted and out came the egg that cracked open into chubby pigeon. I want to have a forum to display what I think beauty is. I wanted to have a place where I can share my political ideologies, videos, sexual explorations, pigeon adventures, and display my fetish for beautiful chubby women wearing ornate hats.

I want to read your comments, hear your opinions, and listen to your stories. As women in this society we are exploited, pitted against each other, oppressed, and are given a list of unattainable expectations by men who hold over us an ideal that I would never want to fuck, the same men who find self-confidence to be sexy but do so little to build it. So here it is, Chubby Pigeon, welcome to my nest.

Chubby Pigeon

Friday, December 14, 2007

Drop another coin in the slot and I will tell you more.

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